Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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