I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
my poor anus
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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