The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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