A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
