i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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