found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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