Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
