So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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