They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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