Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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