To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
