your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
