All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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