i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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