I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
