He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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