toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Found the puke drawer
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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