Buhtt sex?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
she peed on how many people?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
