I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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