So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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