So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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