I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize