just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
