My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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