whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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