Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
