Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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