This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
