Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
