and i looked up. we had an audience...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
