went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Randomize
