No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
It's just like the Real World with babies
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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