we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
