I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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