so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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