i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
