Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
