somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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