that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
you would pick up someone in the library
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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