Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
