filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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