therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
