Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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