You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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