My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
