whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
