so explain again why im purple
no
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
