Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
