You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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