rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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