Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Randomize
